I am a lady that is days away from turning 30. I am beautiful,
intelligent, fun loving and smart. My story has been a very interesting
and sad one... I was born with a deformity of not being able to bear a
child.
N.B. I have never done an abortion so please don’t think it’s because of
recklessness I have damaged my womb. I have dated three guys, two of
whom I told about my situation. I left the third, I couldn’t tell him
because I was scared, so I acted up and gave him attitude, then he left
too.
I am currently engaged to a guy a friend hooked me up with, that claims
he loves me but I really doubt it. I told him about my situation and he
accepted...
he made a huge proposal after I told him, and it went viral, to show to the world how he loves me.
But here is the real deal, he doesn’t show me he cares. I am abused at
the slightest opportunity. Calling me names I have never been called. He cheats on me so much that it breaks my heart, currently he is sleeping with the house-help which he can’t hide anymore. He even brings some of his girls home and I just look and cry my eyes out when am alone.
He makes me feel worthless. First of all I mustn’t talk to my friends
when he is around if not he gets jealous. He asked me to close up my
Facebook, Instagram, BlackBerry messages, WhatsApp and delete all my
contacts because he doesn’t want me talking to anyone…we don’t even go
out as couple, he doesn’t take me anywhere.
I am not allowed to work anymore cos he said his wife won’t work. I had a
very lucrative job back in my country and he made me quit. I really do not have much savings but I had 25,000 USD which I have given to him on loan and I doubt if he will ever pay.
My family back home depends on me. I have been working my ass out to
support the family but I always had a lonely and sad night… In my quest
to find happiness I find myself here. Now I can’t support my family, I
don’t even have a dime to my name and I’m in a strange country with no
one to talk to. I am even too broke to go make my hair in the salon, I
have learnt how to make my hair myself now. Same me that goes to the
best salon back home, wears the best clothes and now I have been reduced
to nothing.
Because I don’t have anymore money to give to him he sees me as a dull
girl. That I am not smart at all... I called home last month and the
last money I had was used to get me air ticket to leave here after a
very big fight... But after finding out about it he begged me stay and I
did.
His way of life I can’t deal…he poses to be very rich, which I really
don’t care if he is rich or broke because I know I can survive without a
man’s money. But he lives in debt around that I am ashamed of moving
around. We have been arrested once because he was owing someone. He lives a fake life and it breaks my heart because I’m one of the realest girls you can know. In
a bid to cover up, once he gets little money he shops for clothes and
wrist watches and gives people money to show off, without even paying up
some debts.
He doesn’t want to go see my parents, he wants to send money home for my
bride price to be done back home and we won’t attend. I have always
dreamt of been a bride, I am very beautiful and I dream of how a
beautiful bride I will be.
Now what should I do? I feel so ashamed to even go back home with no
money attached to my name. The stigma of getting engaged and dumped? Or
stay with this man that makes my life unbearable? If I leave who will
ever marry me with my health issue? I hear lots of people say marriage
is not always blissful, is it always like this? Should I stay and build
this which I doubt will work? If I stay, how do I cope with him sleeping with househelps and everything under skirts...
Please I need a realistic way out of this mess.
- by a sister in need of help

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