GQ Magazine is calling it ” The Confessions of R.Kelly” and we have to agree.
The 48-year-old music legend gets so real in this interview with Chris Heath
as he talks about everything from those child pornography allegations
that almost ruined his career, suffering sexual abuse as a child his
deviant sexual practices including urinating on people, his marriage to
15-year-old Aaliyah and more.
See excerpts below.
Inability to Read
On his inability to read as a child: Other kids
could read, other kids could write, other kids could spell, they could
do math. I felt like an alien, I felt like an outcast. I felt like,
‘What is going to happen to me?’ My mother couldn’t answer it. My
stepfather wasn’t really interested in it one way or another. And my
brothers and sisters were so young at the time they wouldn’t do nothing
but tease me about it. I was the ‘dummy’: ‘How you gon’ do this? You
can’t even read!’
On still struggling with reading as an adult: Since
my daughter showed me voice texts on my phone, I’ve gotten a lot better.
I’m not a A student, I’m not even a B student, but I’ve gotten a lot
better with the reading because of texts. And I can voice-text and say
whatever I want to people. And then they text me back and I take my time
and I can read through it.
Sexual Abuse as a Child
On hiding his sexual abuse from his mother: [I] put
[it] so far in the back of my mind that I even forgot about it. As I got
older, the more I just didn’t want it to be in my past. The more I
became successful.
On one of his sexual abuse experiences: It was a
crazy weird experience. But not a full-blown experience, because it
didn’t go down. Contact sexual—no. A visual—absolutely. A visual from
him showing me his penis and all that stuff.
On another sexual abuse that lasted years: I tried
to push her away, but she wouldn’t stop until she was finished. When she
was, she said, “You better not say shit to no one or else you gonna get
a terrible whupping.” At first, I couldn’t judge it. I remember it
feeling weird. I remember feeling ashamed. I remember closing my eyes or
keeping my hands over my eyes. I remember those things, but couldn’t
judge it one way or the other fully. It became a regular thing. Every
other day, every other week. As far as I can remember, about [age] 7 or 8
to maybe 14, 15. Something like that.
On confronting the person: Maybe eight, nine years
ago. Didn’t want to talk about it. Didn’t own up to it. Told me,
‘Sometime when you’re kids, you think you’ve been through something, or
did something, that you didn’t do, probably was a dream.’ Things like
that. But it was definitely not a dream.
Aaliyah
On rumours he married Aaliyah when she was 15: Well,
because of Aaliyah’s passing, as I’ve always said, out of respect for
her mother who’s sick and her father who’s passed, I will never have
that conversation with anyone. Out of respect for Aaliyah, and her
mother and father who has asked me not to personally. But I can tell you
I loved her, I can tell you she loved me, we was very close. We were,
you know, best best best best friends.
Child Pornography Allegations
On people still buying his records after the 2002 drama:
I don’t think so. I don’t think so. I just think those people didn’t
believe that nonsense. That’s what I think. And they said, ‘The hell
with what other people are saying—we love R. Kelly, we believe R. Kelly,
he was found innocent, he’s moving on with his life, he’s not letting
that tear him down.’ I believe that’s what it was.
On being found not guilty: Well, to be honest with
you, man…however, whatever, whenever. When a person is found not guilty,
they’re found not guilty. And it doesn’t matter if it’s a murder case,
it doesn’t matter what case it is, when they’re found not guilty,
they’re not guilty. And I think that a lot of haters out there wanted to
see me go down.
On the people who accused him being liars: All of
them. And it wasn’t many. It wasn’t like it was a whole ton of people.
But the people that did were absolutely lying. Absolutely.
On why they lied: Look, if I break up with a girl,
and she don’t wanna break up, and I’m R. Kelly, she’s gonna be pissed.
So pissed that she’s gonna go out there, she’s gonna say this, she’s
gonna say that, she’s gonna say the other. And if she’s really pissed,
whoever she said it to is gonna spread the rumor, and if the wrong
people get ahold of that rumor, that’s gonna come out. If that come out,
I gotta get a lawyer, and once I get that lawyer, that lawyer gonna
tell me to shut up. Because no matter what you say, you’re gonna look
bad. Okay, so now it goes from that to ‘Oh, they’re really serious, they
want to sue you.’ What the lawyers tell me? ‘You should settle. Your
album’s coming out. You have a GQ front cover coming out, you
have BET next week, you have the Grammys coming up. Wrong or right, you
can win the battle and lose the war. It’s on you, but that’s what we
advise you to do.’ I go home, I think about all my hard work, I look at
my studio, I look at my kids, I look at my wife at the time, or any
other time, and I say, ‘I don’t want to settle.’ I want to fight because
I know I’m right, I know I’m innocent, have nothing to hide—she wanted
me, I wanted her, she was of age, I’m of age. But she’ll say, ‘Well, I
didn’t meet him here, I met him then.’ That’s what they’re saying.
On life being unfair to him: I think, man,
abso-effing-lutely I’ve been treated unfair. Yes. I’m not, you know,
this innocent guy with a halo over his head. No, I love women. Do I like
to sleep with underage girls? Absolutely not. I’ve said it a million
times. But do I have people trying to destroy my career? Absolutely.
Bill Cosby
On his perspective of the situation: Well, my
opinion on that is, I don’t know what happened. I’m a fan of Bill
Cosby’s from the Bill Cosby show, of course—who’s not?—and for me to
give my opinion on something that I have no idea if it’s true or not,
all I can say is that it was a long time ago. And when I look on TV and I
see the 70-, 80-, 90-year-old ladies talking about what happened when
they were 17, 18, or 19, there’s something strange about it. That’s my
opinion. It’s just strange. Strange is strange. I can’t explain strange.
That’s why strange is strange. Because it’s something we can’t explain.
On if the women are telling the truth: If God showed
me that they were telling the truth, I would say that’s wrong. I don’t
care if it was a zillion years ago. But God would have to do that,
because God is the only one can show me that. No man can tell me that.
No woman can tell me that. And when you wait 70 years, 50 years, 40
years, to say something that simple, it’s strange. You know why I say
that is because it happened to me, and it wasn’t true.
Photo Credit: GQ Magazine
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